How to Read More Than Everyone Else, or Seem Like You Do

Inform your circle of shut pals that you just had been barred from the library for studying an excessive amount of, too quickly, too shortly. Inform them that you just’re embarrassed. Ask them to maintain {that a} secret.

When it’s good to faux to have learn a particular ebook, do your greatest to maintain it imprecise. Use numerous adjectives, till you’ve impressed your viewers with how deeply you’ve thought in regards to the ebook. “ ‘Regular Folks’? I wouldn’t say regular in any respect, not one bit, I might say acerbic, blistering, chilling, devastating, explosive, faultless, gutting, honey-toned, insistent,” and so forth.

When you meet a author, say that you’ve got a podcast about books. They are going to mechanically proceed to inform you all about their newest ebook, throughout which it’s regular so that you can stay utterly silent. Bear in mind what they are saying and repeat it to the subsequent particular person you meet, even when that particular person is a medical skilled at your subsequent appointment. This manner, your ophthalmologist will consider you’re a giant reader.

Definitely put on glasses, or a couple of pair. Bully the ophthalmologist into supplying you with a prescription, or two.

Purchase books all the time from a variety of sources. Purchase used books and preorder books to insure that you’ve got a continuing provide of books from the previous and the long run.

Maintain books in distinguished locations all through your property and steady. One by the bathroom, a pair within the toaster, a bunch crammed into your pony’s saddlebags.

Carry a ebook round. Deliver one with you in these lengthy strains the place you catch COVID whereas ready to seek out out when you have COVID. Maintain shifting your purse with the heavy ebook in it from shoulder to shoulder as you stand among the many coughing and watch forty-five minutes of Instagram Reels that includes body-positive ladies consuming various kinds of buttered toast.

Obtain a lot of audiobooks in order that while you’re caught on the F practice you’ll be able to you’ll want to hearken to Adele on repeat.

Arrange an aggressively prolific profile on Goodreads. Username ideas embrace YepIRedDat69 and HogwartsMoreLikeHogBooks.

When somebody asks when you have learn a specific ebook, shortly scream, “Sure!” Go on to say that it was good and that you just preferred the characters and the font. Ominously add, “I imply, it’s extra well timed than ever when you concentrate on . . . all this.” Waggle your eyebrows. Flip the interrogation round and ask the particular person if they’ve learn every other books. Allow them to discuss for some time earlier than you excuse your self by saying that you just suppose you heard your husband’s bike outdoors.

Take pictures of your books and submit them on social media captioned with the weeping emoji. Purchase a fairly matcha tea with a coronary heart within the foam and place it near a ebook. Seize a good-looking man’s out-of-focus shoulders within the background.

Write a ebook. Nothing will make you appear extra like a reader than being a author. Watch out to not learn your individual ebook too usually, however do attempt to go over it a few times earlier than it’s printed.

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