Trump Suggests Putin Just Claim He Won

PALM BEACH (The Borowitz Report)—Because the Russian invasion of Ukraine continues to come across difficulties, Donald J. Trump has suggested Vladimir Putin “simply to assert that he received.”

“He must get on TV and say that he’s the winner,” Trump mentioned. “He ought to say that he had a victory in Ukraine such as you wouldn’t imagine.”

Trump mentioned that the Russian President ought to maintain rallies throughout the nation to inform his supporters that he received however that his victory had been stolen from him.

“I believed Putin was good, however perhaps he’s not so good in any case,” Trump mentioned. “If he doesn’t say he received, he’s some sort of silly dummy.”

Trump mentioned that, since his calls to the Russian chief saved going straight to voice mail, he left Putin a suggestion of what he ought to inform the Russian folks.

“All he must say is, ‘Frankly, we did win this invasion,’ ” Trump mentioned.

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